The months of March and April have been A LOT on me as a single mom. Working 12 hour days and not having a break, being on call, keeping a clean house and taking care of my daughter have left me with a terrible sleep schedule and a lack of an appetite. It has been terrible! But I think I know how to fix it. With work somewhat slowing down and me deep cleaning during the week in order to prepare for staying home this weekend, if I stay home, cook dinner early, I should be able to get my daughter in the bed early and I can follow right after her. This, of course, is what I hope will happen this weekend. But because I have been going to bed so late and trying to get work done as quickly as possible, I have to hope that exhausting myself earlier in the day will help me go to sleep and not just lead to me staring at my phone until 2 am hits and I'm finally tired.
I'm 25 and I have been burnt out and brought back to life multiple times since I graduated high school. I was burnt out because of school, motherhood, work, and just overall stress from life. Millennials have been told as long as we go to college, find a good job, and work as hard as we can, then we will end up in a great place by the time we're 25. The reality of life hits a lot harder than the fairytale lifestyle we were promised as teenagers and quite honestly I'M TIRED! Being a single mom, making sure I do my best at work, juggle my nonprofit and my consulting company has been A LOT. Entrepreneurship isn't easy, being a single mom, a mom period, isn't easy, holding down a career isn't easy, but I'm doing it with my sanity mostly intact.
I say all that to say, hindsight is 20/20. There are some points where being burnt out isn't optional. As best as we can prepare for it, working and being in school and taking care of a small child is going to take a toll on you. No matter how hard you try to get to bed early, one day there's going to be an assignment due at midnight you forgot about. No matter if your child(ren) is/are on a sleep schedule, there will be days where they just don't want to go to sleep. But there will be days when everything goes right, and on those days you can prevent burnout.
Right now I'm obligated to work 40 hours a week (more if I'm on call), and typically 40 hours a week is sufficient if the time is used correctly. I'm given 3 weeks vacation with whatever rolls over from the prior year and this year I've decided I'm going to take a vacation. My family and my coworkers know, I never take a vacation, and that's one of the reasons I'm burnt out. My family and friends also know I rarely take breaks to rest and have time for myself. My daughter is always with me, I do most of my running around, paying bills and grocery shopping with her, but I know I can get done faster if I drop her off at Nana's or grandma's, so when they offer, I'm going to do that. My best friend has offered to watch my daughter so I can have breaks once every month or so, and I'm going to take her up on that. Most likely not every month, just when I know I could use a night to myself or a day to sleep in. When I'm sick, I plan to take sick days instead of working and working when I know I'm not feeling well. My daughter is counting on me and if I'm not prioritizing my mental and physical health, then I'm not going to be the best mom I can be for her. Working late, not taking sick days, overextending myself on weekends, and never saying no to plans is not my plan for this year and for years to come.
The strong Black woman trope is starting to get old and more of us are realizing it. Am I strong? Hell yes, but if I can take breaks, write a couple of blogs, play games with my daughter, and just chill on the weekends, I plan on doing that. I don't want to work and be out all day when I don't feel like it. Today's just day one of trying to rest when I can, but hopefully in a couple months I'll be writing another article titled, 'How I Dealt with Burnout', instead of 'Still Dealing with Burnout'.
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